AP Associated Pest
bin Laden Assassination Wakes Memories of the 1980's Greatest Blow Against Terrorism
Nielsen's Tackle of the Table of Terror Still Sparks Tears
by Shirley Ucantbserious
Posted: May 3, 2011
As the nation celebrates the assassination of Osama bin Laden, the event also awoke many memories from the 1980s and that decade's greatest blow against terrorism.
“What we saw Frank Drevin do in 1988 was not a military victory, but one of intelligence,” says historian Carmen Hammer. “This last weekend, we found one terrorist, but in '88 Lieutenant Frank Drebin was able to locate more than five terrorists and dictators sitting at the same table at the same time, and give them a shalacking”
In 1988, Frank Drebin, also known as Leslie Nielsen, infiltrated a summit of dictators and terrorist held in Beirut, Lebanon.
In attendance were many the worlds most evil and hard-to-spell names including the Col. Muammar Gaddafi , Mikhail Gorbachev, Yasser Arafat, Fidel Castro, Idi Amin, and the Ayatollah Khomeini. Rumors had that he was also able to decifer the real spelling of Gaddafi's name much to the gratification of U.S. news media.
Although Drebin was unable to kill any of the terrorist or dictators, he was able enter a well-armed compound unbeknownst to its guards and to give a Three Stooges womping to Khomeini, expose Gorbachev's fake birthmark, flip Arafat, step on Gaddafi's toes, and throw Idi Amin out a window.
Only Fidel Castro escaped unharmed.
Neilsen would later save Queen Elizabeth II from assassination by Ricardo Montalbán and Reggie Jackson, all in 5 innings, and sing the national anthem. Later, he also save President Clinton and Pope John Paul II from assassination by mobsters in the infamous Train Station Stairs Massacre.
“These events,” says former Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice “brought about the end of the Cold War and the fall of the Soviet Union. Leslie Nielsen is surely needed today.”
Reached for comment in heaven, Neilsen stated, “Don't call me Shirley.”
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