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Wednesday, March 02, 2011

John Boehner: Demands Drastic Measures Now that Cd. Juarez is in the United States

House Speaker Demands Drastic Measures Now that Cd. Juarez is in the United States
Cd. Juarez now Westernmost Part of Texas Says Texas Gov. Perry

by Jesu Sita
Washington Pest Staff Writer
Tuesday, March 1, 2011; 10:04 AM

House Speaker John Boehner held a press conference this morning calling on the Obama administration to take drastic measures now that Cd. Juárez, Mex., according to Texas Gov. Rick Perry, is now in the United States.

Monday, Gov. Perry, following Texas tradition of taking land from Mexico, announced that Cd. Juárez , Chihuahua was the “most dangerous city in America.”

“We were really surprised,” said Mexican President Felipe Calderon, who just last week called President Obama on Feb. 23 to sing him the revolutionary corridoLa Persecución de Villa” which Mexican presidents are constitutionally required to do every Feb. 23. (Clerk here, for live recording of Felipe Calderon singing "Nuestro Mexico febrero 23".)

“I had just finish singing 'gringos tan patones' part,” says Calderon, “and bah, I heard Cd. Juárez was now in the United States. We are more accustomed to the United States invading our country and taking our land -- Perry caught us off guard.”

Texas Gov. Rick Perry celebrates the recent annexation of Mexican territory

Both Mexicans and United States citizens were surprised at the news that nearly 2 million Chihuahuenses were now Texans.

“Yo soy de mero ChiTejas...chingao this is too confusing,” say L. Gato D. Chihuahua of the Felipe Angeles colonia in Cd. Juárez, “it just doesn't sound right.”

Cici Puede who teaches Chicano Studies at the University of Texas at El Paso was more alarmed about how easily the United States took Cd. Juarez.

“We are used to a smorgasbord of gabacho tactics when it comes to stealing land,” says Puede, “but nowadays, it's just becoming far too easy, a simple press conference or redevelopment plan y ya.”

Puede refers to various action by states and gringo elites to deny Mexicans United States citizenship and land. This was land that the Mexicans owned after the U.S.-Mexico War and the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo that followed.

For example, contrary to the treaty, California voted that Mexicans were not U.S. citizens because “further action by Congress” was needed to make them citizens, therefore they could not own land.

Also, Native Americans who lived in parts of the U.S. that once was Mexico were considered Mexican citizens before the U.S.-Mexico War. However, the U.S., once it conquered the land, did not grant citizenship to Native Americans.

Leonard Owldog, professor of Native American Studies at Arizona State University also was astonished at Perry's actions.

“These guys usually take land and commit genocide in the process,” says Owldog, “then they name their state, county, city, or football team in honor of the Indians they forced out or killed.” “They like to name land after us,” says Owldog, “as long as we are not on it any more.”

However, New Mexico governor Susana Martínez, who this past weekend was turning over her undocumented family members to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, was not amused by Perry's actions.

“This gives the U.S. another 2 million people for me racially profile and deport,” says Martínez. “Dividing families is hard work.”

Martínez also stated that New Mexico was keeping an eye on Texas since Texas has twice tried to make New Mexico part of Texas. “If they tried to do it before,” says Martínez, “they'll try again.” 

“New Mexico is tired,” said Martínez, “of Texans coming to New Mexico acting like native New Mexicans and trying to run our state.”

"New Mexicans are tired of Texans trying to run our state," says NM Gov. Susana Martinez at a Wed. morning press conf.

“New Mexico has experience with Mexicans who are new to the United States,” says Martínez. “After the U.S.-Mexico War,” continued Martínez, “Hispanos, when creating the New Mexico Territory restricted U.S. citizenship to 'free white male inhabitants residing within the limits of the US but who [were residents] on the 2nd day of Feb. 1848.'”

In using the term “Hispanos” Martinez refers to New Mexicans who believe they are of pure Spanish blood and in fact White.

Historians say that later, when the U.S. Supreme Court looked at this New Mexican law for former Mexican citizens acquiring citizenship, it ruled that since New Mexico was a territory and not a state at the time, the former Mexican citizens could not become U.S. citizens.

It remains to be seen if these 2 million new inhabitants of the United States will be treated the same way.

Meanwhile, the El Paso del Norte Group, an elite business association in El Paso is eying land in Cd. Juárez with hunger. Rob A. Sutierra, president of the group, says they are reviewing various gabacho tactics to take juarense land.

“There are many things we can do,” says Sutierra. “Make the process for the juarenses to prove title to their land bureaucratic, take advantage of imperfect titles, burn the records office down, make them prove the title in courts that are100 miles away, make it terribly expensive to defend your land's title in court, make filing fee high, write redevelopment plans with no input from the community or the poor resident, reclassifying the land as 'blighted', or using non-profits to do our dirty work.”

As Customs and Border Patrol extended their patrols to the southern city limits of Cd. Juárez, Texas today, thousand rushed the former international bridge.

juarense school children realizing they are now texans

El Pasoan Jose Tiralon quickly took advantage and cross the bridge to refill his contacts prescription. “This is sweet, no more lines when I need new contacts – a verdad!” Meanwhile, Texas governor Perry, so elated that he could take Mexican territory with no invasion, he performed un baile de carquís.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious. I love the sarcasm. thanks for posting.